As I said at the end of part 1, after two years of marriage, my husband and I decided to start having children. Being a mother was something that I knew I always wanted to be so when we made this decision, needless to say, I was ecstatic! And even more so when I had a positive pregnancy test just one month after trying! I couldn’t believe how blessed we were that things were happening so easily and quickly for us!
Fast forward nine months, when Ellie was born, easily one of the best days of my life! From the second she was born everything about my life changed. My focus and my goals did a complete 180. My career was no longer my main focus or even a priority at that point. While I was pregnant, I arranged to be able to return to work part-time, because I couldn’t bare just to see Ellie for a couple hours every evening. Unfortunately, while I was on maternity leave, I received a letter from my company saying this was no longer possible.
After some discussions with my husband and endless job searches, I made the decision to quit the job that I absolutely loved. Instead, I took a job that was not my favorite but allowed me to make my own schedule and work from home. This is only one example of how having children changed me, my relationships, and my life.
Ellie was my world. All I could think about was her. This made me a great mother but little by little a not so great wife. My husband who used to be my main focus, no longer was and anything I did for myself, whether it was me time or time with friends was also pretty much out the window. At the time I didn’t notice it. Actually, no one did, not even my husband because it happened so gradually over time.
Add in another child three years and nine months later and this just intensified. Not only because I was just as in love with our second daughter, but also because now I had two little ones to care for. I was as happy as could be, but little did I realize what I had given up for this happiness; my marriage and myself.